Looking back

I promise, I haven't forgotten how to blog. :0)

There is so much to talk about though, I am going to break it up into sections, though, so please bear with me.

The Bipolar
My husband was formally diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder, two months ago. No more ruling out the diagnosis, it's the real deal. Which is both a relief and a terror, since his mania seems to be irresponsive to the depakote, so far.

I have begun attending National Alliance for the Mentally Ill meetings, for support. The people there have been wonderful. I am very thankful that a group like this exists for individuals who love people with chronic mental illness.

That said, I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. "Riding a rollercoaster" and "walking on eggshells" are two common turns of phrase associated with families whose loved ones include an individual with bipolar that's not under control. I am doing both.

And I still love him, terribly, even though his disorder hurts us all sometimes.

Which leads into the next segue...

The Strattera
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19 years old. I was single, I was mostly ok, and could deal with the disorder. My life has gotten to the point now, ten years later, where I need to be able to function without the constant background noise and stress. I need to be able to focus on my son, myself and my relationships without (what had become) an herculean effort to concentrate.

A little over a week and a half ago, I saw the same psychiatrist who treats my husband and was given Strattera to try for a month. I spent the first week, blissed out on the utter quiet in my mind. For the first time in my memory, I felt truly relaxed. My brain hurts thinking about how much energy I spent on compensating for the ADHD. I have given myself a huge gift and the ones I love will benefit from it.

The Girlfriend
Amdist this tumult, I have met someone truly wonderful. She is beautiful, a good friend, is just as silly as I am and we connect. I am proud to say she's my girlfriend and am very glad this happened. (To stop any confusion before it starts, please read about polyamory.)

So that's that. Thanks for sticking around.

Peace

Close up of the water hyacinth. Enjoy!

Found that the water hyacinth bloomed this morning.